If you do not want to see me again I would understand

today is just one of those days. one of those days you realize how much you life has changed in such a short amount of time. one of those days when you realize you need to stop holding onto the past and what was. one of those days where you realize that it doesnt matter if it was a good or bad thing but that it doesnt matter at all because whats done is done.  I have stopped chasing people. I cant make someone love me. I cant make someone be my friend. I cant make someone want me around. The best things are natural. My vision of my life went from crystal clear to ... just blank.  I have no idea whats next and I'm not sure if I like it or not. but I know one thing... I gotta figure it out. A year ago I had so many friends I could barf! lol. but I have lost more than half of them. Knowing how the pattern goes I'll probably lose more and just get some new ones.  The true friends stay. and it doesnt matter if you have known them 2 weeks or 12 years... the real ones stay. But now I have no one to call... seriously. For the 1st time I think I feel 100% alone. Its not a good feeling but I guess its forcing me to actually deal with things.