Scared of Lonely

So heres an update on my life since I have been in phoenix

-I feel somewhat alone... like something is missing. but its not like I haven't for a while. I do although feel like this is the perfect opportunity to regain my unconditional happiness. All the people that love and care for me the most are here in spirit and they will always have my back even from across the country. I am very lucky and am working on building myself up

-I have been doing a lot of networking. and helping my new friend Stan with his All Star weekend events...
www.aceblack.com

-all the guys here have the same pickup line.... " do u like to party? " ummm and they r all pretty much weak as fuck. maybe I should attempt to meet an older man???... uck no nevermind. but the ones my age are so thirsty!!!

- I got my palms read... it was CRAZINESS I swear.

- Honestly right now I'm pretty upset... I kno wat I gotta do tho

- MY NOSE IS PIERCED! and is like super cute... but I guess I look just like mya now :-/

- My mother and I are opening a store here in downtown phoenix. well its really my store but i'm using her money :)

- "sometimes I feel like theres no gettin thru to you like you dont appreciate all that I do. you gotta show me that you want me to stay. dont turn and walk away. I'm slowly fallin out of love with you I dont know what to do"

- So apparently I'll be going for the cover of "AZ Nightlife" for the month of the All Star game... kool beans

- I will be in Detroit for Newyears! Yay! thanks 2 my big bro for buyin my ticket.

- I now LOVE the jonas brothers aka the Jo Bros lol




Does anyone see a problem with this damn thing! its just a backwards robe!

I think thats about it for now

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Current Jamz::
" Scared of lonely" - Beyonce

Quote of the day::
" your having a random outburst of thirst!"

Sad Shit, Cute Shit, and Funny Shit

This shit if just fucking Sad. I cant even Laugh at a bitch being this dumb. Well Yes I can! lol



Now THIS little fucker is cute.... and I cant stop singing the song



No matter how many times I watch this I still CRY Laughing... U just gotta have my humor

So Check out my Buddy Scolla

So I guess he comin out with a full length studio album.... should be hot shit!

Its called "THE PERFECTION THEORY" so look out for that




And click the link below to check out his new song

Click here to listen/download "Married Man"
and NOOOO its not a cake song lol...

TTFN

UNDER CONSTRUCTION! Me & My Blog :)

My New Blog layout is currently under construction and so is my life. I recently moved to phoenix which is by far the BIGGEST move I have ever made. I had a hard enough time switching schools in high-school but even then I always had Kristen with me... we always ended up in the same place. I was afraid until I landed... I had finally left my comfort zone. But as I landed I honestly felt a sense of relief. I realized I had made myself comfortable in a mediocre setting. Allowing myself to be surrounded by drama and always looking for the next quick temporary fix. I made myself comfortable expecting disappointment and being content with the same ol same ol. Now I can focus on ME and bettering my life. Now I can worry about whats the next step to following my dreams instead of worrying about petty drama and what the next person will say. I know there is drama everywhere but this time I have a fresh start and a little more knowledge about how people can be. Looking back on my past and wonder maybe if I wasn't so nice could people have done the things they did to me. If I hadn't been so naive would I still have been taken advantage of. If I hadn't loved so hard could I still have been hurt. and if I hadn't made some of the mistakes I made would I still be the same person. but finally I am not worried about it anymore. I am ME! and that is wonderous! lol...and I have faith that me and my friends... my true friends... will be ok. Sure we will all grow and change but my REAL friends are naturally the most fun, original, quirky people and thats why we love each-other. We will be ok... I probably wont stay here forever but I am using this time to focus. I LOVE YOU ALL!.... Remember my page is under construction! TTFN!

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Current Jamz::
"what were you thinking" - Joss Stone

Quote of the Day::
"I realized I had become a grown woman when I started thinking more about myself and less about what people thought of me"

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You change your mind like a girl changes clothes...

***UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE*** Laura Ann Sims Tyler is moving to phoenix AZ on Dec 3rd... so get ur fill of me now cuz I'm out this bitch! kinda excited. its crazy how everything happened. I'll be back a lot tho. apparently my producer doesn't wanna let me go.

-Last night I had soooooo much fun. I drank, laughed, and danced... and me and my girls were the most beautiful in the place as per usual. I got hit on by a girl.... I was flattered because that means I'm universally pretty! lol

-I realized I am spoiled when it comes to guys. like if I dont get my attention or at-least an explanation of why I am not getting it... I take it very personal. thats prolly not a good thing.

-So I guess my EX just happened to be moving to Phoenix also. I just found this out... hummmmmmm..... what does this mean??? eh... maybe nothing

-just wanted 2 let u kno "I take my shirt off and all the hoes stop breathin" lol

-My boobs hurt right now... could they b growing??? :) *wishful thinking*

-ok so EVERYBODY has a problem with me getting a small boy dog and naming him Walter... I like the name. its original lol

- if anybody wants 2 buy any furniture let me kno... or my car. cuz i sure as hell aint drivin it down there

-ITS RINK SEASON! yes thats right... The Rink opens This Friday and I will sure as hell be there to bless the ice. CMRS!

-Have you ever noticed that when u goin thru somethin Church ALWAYS be on point??

- Kristen u kno u gonna miss me... dont even front. 11 years bitch... after all this time I cant even get a new bestie


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Current Jamz::
"Hot & Cold" - Katie Perry

Quote of the Day::
"the first step to getting somewhere is deciding your not going to stay where you are"

Shawty say the nigga that she wit aint S***!

First of all let me tell you I am STRESSED to the fullest.. I need a vacation but... thats not possible right now. For someone who's Birthday is tomorrow I think I should be a little happier. You know how adults dont get excited about birthdays anymore??? cuz they still gotta pay bills n shit... well thats me. maybe that means I'm growing up. I let my flock of niggas go... all but the important one. I just didn't have time for all that single shit... not saying I'm not single but I just dont have time to manage all the groupies that come along with being single.

Now let me say this... if I your gonna be with me, love me, build something with me... WANT ME FOR ME! you can't be with someone for a while then up and decide you wanna change them... I mean shit atleast try to change me while its still early in the relationship so I can see what your petty ass is really all about.
Also have you noticed someone might tell you they would never hurt you and blah blah blah and do that shit with no remorse... thats fucked up if you ask me. So basically your a LIAR!
"you always said you'd hate to see me hurt and you'd hate to see me cry... so all those times you hurt me... did you close your eyes?"

Enough of that relationship talk... So imma be wack on my Birthday. I really dont wanna do shit seeing as I'm turning into a old lady. I'm like the old lady that still bumps Gucci Mane and then turns on the Barry white :)

I love my sis MS. CRIS!.... seriously we r sum badddddd bitches... and we got sum shit comin for yall.

I'm moving to East Lansing....I'll be there within a month. I need some time away from detroit. Everybody leavin and I dont even blame them. But I will always "put on for my city" lmao

Ok so can someone Help me with my Reality show... I feel like I need & deserve one. atleast on youtube. it'll b fun :) plus I'm hella interesting.

Who noticed during the BET Awards Lil Wayne NEVER left the stage... seriously everytime someone else got an award there he was... during every performance there he was,... he rappin i songs he had no part in... The Weezy Awards???? hummmm I'm just sayin...


Well have a good day everyone....

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Current Jamz::
"shawty say" - David Banner Ft. Lil Wayne

Quote of the Day::
"Love doesnt make things easy. Just worth it"

Vote Me into the RealWorld!

But your Just a boy... you dont understand

Random blogging...

-I'm getting my life, morals and goals together. I need it. and I need to realize its ok to ask for help when you need it... I'm still workin on that one.

-Apparently I'm so talented that people wanna invest in me! yay!!! Imma b a SUPERSTAR!

- There comes a time when you have to decide weather you wanna spend more time hoping things will work out or take it ass a loss and just not waste anymore time.

- "I need a change of scenery because this one wasnt real. it was just a pretty picture of things I wanted to believe"

- ok sooooo my lil bro told me this girl looks like a moose that got beat with a ugly stick... WOW

- its my BIRTHDAY month... I'm a princess all month

-Never trust a man with 2 first names...

-I feel like I should have a reality show... perhaps I will start one

- Yay I have my friend back! :)

- Running on a treadmill = Going nowhere FAST!... thank my brother for that quote.

- Rink season is coming up. I'm excited. nobody understands my love for iceskating at campus martius more than CMRS

- "Whats all on a niggas mind" - T baby... now I say that after EVERYTHING!

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Current Jamz::
"if I were a boy" - Beyonce

Quote of the day::
"Just because your not with someone doesnt mean you dont love them. you just simply have to learn to live without them"

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I'm Fly like Paper I get High like Planes

WOW its really been a while. So heres a random blog...

-Lansing with the besties was GREAT! and wonderfully Drunk. Then I saw Butt Butt... I guess he's semi still in my life. but is that really the way I want it??

-Partied with CMRS *YIPPEE*... I love them. The Liquor was flowing, secret crushes were revealed, Booty's were grabbed lol. Omar doing random Drunkin Push-ups. My right hand man is always drunk and shirtless and rambling... He claimed to have raised us all. still wondering how that possible if we all met like 2 years ago :-/

-"what would you say... if I told you... you was... FINE!" - me

-Seriously I gotta get outa this house with my father. He's crazy. Apartment shopping NOW!

-its SO hard to keep your head up when people seem to be obsessed with seeing you fail. no-matter how sad I get all I wanna do is kill them with success :) so who's gonna be down for me???

-I submitted a youtube of me singing to this contest at random! lol

-I SWEAR this nigga think I'm dumb. Dont forget I know every trick in the book cuz I've Done Them ALL! but ay if you like it I love it... its all Gravy Baby! :)

- I HATE fat girls that think they r just THICK.... its a major difference. Thick Girls dont have a GUT! and STOP GETTIN BELLY RINGS!

-Got some new Iceskates. makes me smile :)

-So my Birthday is Coming up (OCT 27th)... and i'm happy to say I am still Child Free!!!!* YIPPEE*

-I kinda miss my Rooster... just a little bit! You better not have found you another chicken! lol

- Dunlap:: The fat that Dun Lapped over yo pants!

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Current Jamz::
"Paper Planes" - M.I.A.

Quote of the day::
"What would you say if I told you... you was... FINE"

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I wanna LIVE!

today I decided I wanna live. and not just be alive but LIVE! I wanna be happy not practical. I dont wanna play it safe. I'm not happy right now. What I am is stable. nothings REALLY that bad. Everything is... Normal. But seriously whats about "normal" screams FUN! EXCITING! or SPECTACULAR! Those are words that I wanna be able to use to describe my life and how I feel about it. Today I went to see "The Family that Preys". It was a wonderful movie. It got me really thinking about life though. A woman asked "are you really living or are you just existing?". I have been asking myself that question all day. Then today someone VERY close to my heart attempted to take his life. The truth is I have had a moment like that so I know what that feels like. To think life cant get ANY better and it hurts so much to think that someone I care for so much could feel that same pain that I once felt and very much still understand. I dont want anyone to think they cant LIVE and be happy...and I dont want anyone to feel that low because I know that thats like... it sucks! So I'm gonna do everything I can to make sure I dont even get close to that road again and neither do anyone I care for. I'm just really upset right now and for whatever reason this lil blog helps me vent and sort out my head.

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Current Jamz::
"live your life"- TI ft Rihanna

Quote of the Day::
"Are you Really Living or just Existing"

This love is takin all of my Energy

So as of right now... itunes on shuffle, AIMing Stef, thinking of a master plan. I need to move out ASAP so I think me n Stef are gonna do that. Once again... caught in limbo with the EX... UGH! I just wanna be happy... when will it be my turn??? like do you ever think hey... when will it be MY turn to be happy??? when will it be MY turn to fall in love??? seriously... I'm like this. If imma actually be WITH someone I either want the REAL thing or simply to just be single and have fun. Those Semi-Serious relationships that last all of a couple months are so pointless. I realize that I DESERVE to be some ones one n only. And Settling for less and I deserve is another form of doubt in myself.

-Wrote a note on FB about giving away the secrets to being a player... really just to prove to the players that even after their groupies read my note and notice all the signs they still wont stop talking to them. Simply because people believe what they want to in the end. so if you dont wanna believe your getting played despite all the signs you simply just wont believe it.

-Random Thought:: I LOVE KERI HILSON! seriously... she had 2 grow on me but i love her music now and her hair cut is so pretty

-So here are some random sexual terms me n my friends have stumbled across this past week::

*DickMitten = Vagina

*Have you misplaced jesus lately???= Have you had sex lately??... heres the back story. My friend had a this guy... a "Friendly Fuck" so one day he goes to church and returns and says "we cant have sex anymore because I found jesus" but he calls a week later wanting to fuck... so was jesus misplaced??? I'm just sayin...

*Would you like to experience the Chronicles of Narnia? = Would you like to have sex?

-So this random girl told my friend I told her all of his business... but in reality I have never had a conversation with this girl in my life. dont even kno who she is... Bitch your random

OH YEA New Pics::




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Current Jamz::
"Energy"- Keri Hilson

Quote of the day::
"never settle for less that you deserve because thats another form of doubt in yourself"

UGH mad at my father

So its begun... My father is back to acting like the Ass-Hole that he is. Its clear to me that he was just acting nice until I got settled into the house. Moving back home was a HUGE mistake and I cant lie... EVERYONE who knows my father knew it was just a front but I didn't listen. I think its time to move back out so right now I'm thinkin of a master plan.Thinking about just going to Chicago early.Seriously I find myself avoiding him like in the house like I used to. I thought we were past this. On another note... one of my visions is finally all coming together. I'm just waiting on one phone call to make it complete. everything else is going good. The music thing is going well also. The only things bringing me down is my damn father and its so hard because I live with this FOOL so I can only avoid him so much. I think thats all for now....


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Current Jamz::
"As We Lay" - Kelly Price

Quote of the day::
"The only way that this will work is if you love me when it hurts"

Robbed By Probably

your probably gonna stay around
you'll probably love me forever
I'll probably end up marring you
and We'll probably stay together
Your probably happy with me
You'll probably be there through thick and thin
You'll probably never leave me
and We'll probably be together in the end
you'll probably always be in my life
and I'm probably all you'll ever need
All this time I stuck with this
while probably was robbing me
robbing me of my chance to live
and to find something real
robbed me of every chance I had
to see and breath and feel
now because I spent my time on a probably
I'll probably never find anything true
I only had one life to live
wasted on a probably like you

-Laura

Worthless Pennies and New Beginings

feeling so... BLAH. So I'm excited about fall coming. I'm excited about school, My birthday,and dressing up on halloween. Then winter brings all my favorite holidays... Christmas and Valentines day. My last 2 valentines days sucked ass. Crashed my car one year then the other was just a sucky day thanks to the *wonderful* guy I was dating at the time. I been taking things slow this time. giving myself time to get over the past and to slowly grow into something else. Always following my right mind and not listening to anyone elses little input or whatever they have to say. I can honestly say I'm happy. but the deeper I get the scarier it is."love is like fire. but whether its gonna warm your heart or burn down your house you can never tell" . but its better than my past I can tell you that. I kinda pushed him away yesterday. its so hard not to do that when you have been hurt before. I'm even so much happier with the friends I have. most of my friend I have known for years! and I know they always have my best interest at heart. Even the newbies I have good feelings about.

-Currently in The Musk! AKA Muskegon. Visiting my grandparents. My grandmother doesnt remember anything and kinda just blabs out the first words that come to her mind which dont make sense most of the time. right now shes talking about "loving cookies" . so we just got her some cookies... maybe thats not even what she wanted :-/

- So my boy sent me a text that said "vote for Obama or be a slave"... I mean seriously everybody keeps complaining about how the U.S. has been run for the past 8 years. Why wouldnt we vote in someone who atleast wants and hopes for major change just as we all do??? I'm just sayin...

-My brother finds out he might be diabetic. but he doesnt fret... A quote from my brother Stephen Tyler "it aint shit boosie got that shit 2"... so basically what I'm getting at it Boosie is a inspiration for young people with diabetes.

-Me n Stef r laughing right now... Got this quote from my girl "you like a penny 2 faced and worthless"

- Imma need someone 2 find Darnell! Hes lost in Houston . I'm sending out a search party.

- If you dont like me... then dont like me and dont acknowledge me. dont speak on me, speak 2 me, read my blogs, look at my page, make any I hate Laura clubs...just erase this person you hate so much out of your life and memory because clearly thats the better solution than dwelling on someone that wont change. Plus I'm WONDEROUS! why would I change??? lol if your reading this and you dont like me... it means your a borderline obsessed PSYCHO!

- So me n Terryl just had the biggest laugh ever!!!! nigga u just cant go around *stabbin* anybody lmao! but I think we got to the bottom of your problem!

- I learned about The Link, The Rating System, and Back dooring all in one visit... I dont promote any of this... I'm Anti-Back dooring.

- I hate freshman boys who think they got game and they r the shit just cuz they were the shit in high school. NEWS FLASH! you start over when you get to college... your fresh meat and trust me thats not a cool thing to be.

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Current Jamz::
"you got it bad" - Usher

Quote of the day- "your like a penny. 2faced and worthless"

its so cold in tha D... how the fuck do we posed to keep peace???

I kinda feel bad for laughing so hard and shes talking about death... but I cant help it!!!


side note:: notice her friend in the background smiling and dancing the whole time!!!

My Booty is BIG! lmao

-I started school today :-/ I wanna take online classes. but Dance is fun and easy just because I took beginners dance knowing I been dancing since I was small

- We went and partied in Canada on saturday.. me, stef, and Chrissy! and we met the guy from beauty and the geek lol

-I'm so happy I got one of my friends back. I'm surrounded by wonderful people.

- So I mean I kno my booty is BIG but Stef keeps being a hater. Imma just keep shakin my big ol dunk until she realize that she cant bring me down lol... yall cant handle all this!

- " I'm tryna stack my Boo's up high" - Chrissy! I love my twin

- Still waiting on them to play "jesus walks" or "S.E.X" in the club so I can freak dance with some guy just to be outa line lol

- So Summer is coming to an end...Time to get boo'd up. instead of ya man lookin around at bitches in bikini's wit they ta ta's all out... soon they will be forced to look at bitches in bulky sweaters that show no shape at all. he will appreciate you more in the months to come.

- ok so who remembers the Rap Duo Smilez & South Star??? "love, hate , mistakes, tell me what you think is goin on..." WTF happened 2 them??? sorry just randomly going thru my limewire on my old CPU...Definitely bought that CD tho :-/

- so I saw this "ol Momma lookin girl" on friday... Disappointment overwhelms me. There is no reason why a young girl should look like a middle aged mother.

- If I sent you a text and it just happen to be a VIRUS... I'm so sorry. I swear it was just suppose to be a picture :(

Well I'm about to continue Dancing around in my undies to the Jackson 5... TTFN

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Current Jamz::
"the love you save" - Jackson 5

Quote of the Day::
"He got this model chic and she dont cook or clean but she dress her ass off and her walk is mean. The only thing wrong with ma' shes always on the scene. Damn she fine but she parties all the time!"



oh yea new pics!!!!

Its this one thing that got me trippin!

-Wonderous day "its this one thing that got me trippin"

-So was hanging around a bunch of old men this evening that like young pretty girls. But fortunately me n Alex made it fun.. We will steal ur food and leave lmao.

-So I just happen to think boosie is like the hypest rapper living "hit em up hit em up hit em up lets get it!"

-"one things fa sho. you will get called a BITCH so mutha fuckin fast" lmao @ 2 short

-I'm in a musical mood. I love it...

-Wishing a Certain Friend of mine would know that I am his friend and I love and miss him. Eventho I guess he's mad at me. I'm "off limits" apparently :-/ arg

-Me n Chyna are on a mission for happiness no matter what. and are happy with our small refined circle of friends.

- So happy for my favorite bestest whore and my side dish. lol they r ment for eachother.

- my dad gave me a 1 1/2 hour talk about the following::
*Detroit
*Oil
*Electric cars
*Obama
... Then I caught him playing the sims later that night lmao

-Happy Birthday 2 >>>YOU<<<

- Oh yes my shoot yesterday was WONDERFUL perhaps my best yet. Pics Coming soon

-I seriously love life right now. every time I get a little down I realize that I shouldnt dwell on minor things. You are a much more beautiful person when you radiate genuine happiness!

-I just cant do it anymore... letting go

-Comment Comment Comment!


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Current Jamz::
" Story of a girl" -Ninedays

Quote of the day::
"Your more beautiful when you radiate genuine happiness"

I might as well enjoy my life and watch the stars play

I havent blogged in a while so I figured it was necessary. I have noticed that alot of people say they read my blogs but defiantly dont comment. FEED BACK WOULD BE NICE!!!!... but anycrap. Drama continues but I realized I took the right path by ignoring it. Eventually people will realize they talk for no reason. I have been having alot of fun doing the simplest things. My circle of friends is becoming more refined. I can genuinely love the friends I have and go out of my way for them because I know they would do the same for me. sometimes I might be foolishly nice but I am surrounding myself with people who wont take advantage of that. Finally all moved out and preparing for the next major move... CHICAGO! sometimes when people who were suppose to never leave your side turn on you its easy to get discouraged but I'm just gonna keep pushing and keep smiling (because it comes so natural anyway lol... maybe to the point where its weird). I cant care how many people dont like me because there are soooooo many more who do :) I just wanna Love and be nice to everyone! lol since when is that a bad thing????

update on the past few days::

Riding in a Uhaul with charles and kristen listing to 80's rock while charles does a gay trucker voice lol finally got the furniture out. if you know anyone who wants 2 buy some furniture let me kno!!!

Clubbin on friday... I had SO MUCH FUN! we all looked beautiful and I had not a bad thought in my head all night. I love those girls. And we went to the "Murda Mac" (you dont wanna fuck with that lol).... as per usual. "want alittle violence with that burger??" lol

Yesterday Chillin with the girls during the day then went to Hart Plaza in the evening with CMRS (campus martius rink staff) and clowned. I love my CMRS lil bro's. I realize I am very fortunate for all of my male friends. I'm lucky to have such good ones. Then we went to Sams house. I missed him... he's like me in a guys body. SO FABULOUS! then at night chilled with my homies at Alex's. she got a new kitten. YAY!

ok so I really think I should be mayor. like seriously Kwame has done nothing but fuck up.... keep fuckin up our cars with these detroit pot holes... embarrass us as a city (detroits mayor is wearing a damn tether) and well... I guess he kept the grass cut on bell isle :-/. Kwame prolly wakes up... smokes a kush blunt... takes a shot of patron and then runs your city. He aint shit. just something to think about

I Heard my dad playing the sims downstairs yesterday... i was kinda disturbed


Life is wonderful!!! Photoshoot 2moro... wish me luck!!!!



Current Jamz::
"Beverly Hills" - Weezer

Quote of the Day::
"where I come from from isnt that great, my automobile is a piece of crap. my fashion sense is alittle out of wack and my friends are just as cool as me"

Lost in Love

I cant lie. I'm really annoyed right now. Especially cuz I was napping when the new bullshit happened. Me n "the Ex" will never be even just "ok" it seems like. He's just has this paranoid way of thinking but still not giving a fuck at the same time. Its a weird and seemingly impossible combo but I can tell you one thing... its a sucky combo as well. The most fucked up part of all this is that I already know whats gonna happen next because I been through it so many times before.Of coarse everything is up to fate anyway so you neva kno......but yet thru all of this I'm in a musical mood. Oh yea and apparently my tires are about to explode lol( but serious tho) but so much has to be done so I'm driving on them tonight.pray for me :)


Current Jamz::
"the ex factor" -Lauryn Hill

Quote of the Day::
"Girls who are easy on the eyes are not easy on the heart"

Life is like a box of chocolates

so ummmm unfortunately my laptop charger is not broken so I am forced to use a regular ass computer. This week has been crazy and drama filled. I am still continuing to hear outlandish rumors about myself but surprisingly I am becoming happier and happier as the days go by. I am realizing what a real friend is and I am being prepared for the fabulous life I know I am destined to live. Instead of being just sad and depressed as I would be if this were to have happened a year ago I giggle at these rumors and peaty drama. I watch as people run around like little rats just trying to stir up something. I let this motivate me to still be the bigger person. This little bump in the road makes me look at my past accomplishments and look inside myself for the motivation to accomplish more. Friends are not just "cool ass people".... your friends are your friends and will have your best interest at heart. Cool ass people are just that... nothing more nothing less. The hard part sometimes is separating the two. Basically I'm saying its time to get serious and stop worrying about who's my friend. I got 3 photo shoots and a bunch more surprises I'm super excited about :)


Current Jamz::
"hey ma"-Camron

Quote of the Day::
"what do you do when the whole world turns against you??? shut up, sip a cosmo, and watch the flies drop"

In over My head

I have been through alot this week and realized alot of things. I have a hand full of real friends and I'm happy with that. Some people socialize with everyone and dont have one real friend and I'm so lucky not to be like that. I'm gonna stop tryna please everyone and be thankful for the friends I have and who are pleased by me just being myself. "the EX" has been around all this week. Thats a whole other confusing story in its self :-/ Sometimes I wish I never met him so it would be easier but that would be like erasing a part of myself. In a strange way he is still like my best-friend and I find comfort in him..... I'm moving back home to my dads house to prepare for the BIG move.... to chicago. Nobody gets it but a couple people. I ALWAYS wanted to move to chicago. I dont necessarily wanna stay forever but its something I would love to experience. Plus I think living somewhere else makes someone a more interesting person. This party promoting stuff is getting to be a drag.... not enough money and way to much drama. I have never been one to be full of drama even in high school. It seems since Ive been in the party scene I have not only heard so much random stuff about myself but drama is seeming to follow me. I just wanna LIVE!!!!!!

On another note ...Random things I been thinkin about::
I hate how niggas say "no homo" after everything. ok so have u noticed its either to cover up something not homo at all like "that nigga shirt is sweet as hell... NO HOMO!" which in this case it in-fact amplifies the fact that you are not comfortable with your sexuality and makes you seem oh so homo. OR its to try to cover up something EXTREMELY Homo like "I like to rub lube around my butt hole.... NO HOMO!!!" Which in this case "no homo" cannot excuse the homo moment you just had... just a thought.. LOSE THE PHRASE "NO HOMO"


Another thing.... Ladies.... if your man is not fucking you it IS for one of the following reasons::
1. He's fucking someone else
2.He cant get it up and he dont wanna hoe his self
3. He's gay....

Dont fight it.... guys just dont turn down pussy.

Also... Atlanta is starting to piss me off 4real. Its taking all my friends for NO FUCKING REASON!!! ... I mean I can understand if you actually DO have REAL business opportunities waiting for you there but other than that people are just going to atlanta because they think its the fucking promise land... yes... ATL is WAYYYY better than detroit but NEWS FLASH!!!!! Detroit just has a fucked up economy so almost EVERYWHERE is better than Detroit. But still the chances of you moving to Atlanta and walking down the street and someone offering you a wonderful job is still slim to none. Lets expand our thoughts to more than just Atlanta because its becoming the default city real talk. and your gonna walk down the street and see 10 people you went to high school with because EVERYBODYS MOVING TO ATLANTA!!!!

just some thoughts...


Current Jamz::
"in over my head"- The Fray

Quote of the Day::
"I wish you were a stranger I could disengage. just say that we agree and then never change"

One Day

One day I'll be happy
One day I'll be satisfied
One day I'll wake up
And forget all the tears I cried
One day I'll get it together
One day friends will be real
One day I'll get over
The things only time can heal
One day I'll stop cryin
and wake up with a smile apon my face
One day I'll open up my heart
and find another to take his place
One day I'll get away
To a place I wanna be
One day I'll stop caring so much
and start doing things 4 me
One day things will change
but today is not that day
I gotta make a change tho
Some how some way

-Laura

Random free write... its not that good but its ok for something quick

Stalkers, Sisters, Rumors, & Drunkin Nights

So Let me start by saying that I'm Wonderous.....



At Berts Saturday I was having a wonderous time as usual when my laughter soon came to a hault when I realized crazy ass dave with the grill brought his old ass into this 18+ club... being the crazy person that he is he harassed me the entire night. Despite my attempts to ignore him he continued to follow me to the car ranting and raving about god knows what until I ran into a group of guys that happen to be bigger than him. By The way I was Drunk as hell.... I couldnt even drive. (Side note:: NEVER DRINKING AGAIN!!!). I also ran into someone who helped me out alot.... someone's "sister". Thanks girl. I just needed to get that clarity.

As far as my last blog. I feel WAY better about everything now. Thanks for caring :)
"if I didnt do the things I do I wouldnt be me"... Well if thats what you tell yourself to convince yourself that your are a good person then so be it lol

Apparently Alex, Randi, & I are being stalked.... cool for me because I have fans....not cool for them because I guess they have nothing better to do. NOTE TO STALKER('s):: Hello.... its nice to know you love me :) the feeling isnt mutual

Woah is me *hand on 4head* the life of a facebook celebrity is SOOOO hard lol

Seriously I wish I could just move away and start over.... but I'm so scared of finding the same unhappiness I have here :(
Dante Lets just go! lol


Current Jamz::
"Thanks for the Memories" -Fall out boy

Quote of the Day::
"Drama doesnt follow me it rides on my back"

Give me something to believe in...

once again.... "the ex" has proved everyone right. fucked up again. flipped it around on me. and made me cry. He's sorry... ok but thats not enough to heal everything he has never even apologized for on top of this. Yes we are broken up but that doesnt excuse constant disrespect toward someone you supposedly love.Maybe I'm just to nice... and to sensitive. so for the first time... I have nothing to say. I went through so many emotions in the past 24 hours and now I'm just numb....




Current Jamz::
"Makes me wonder" -Maroon 5

Quote of the Day::
"give me something to believe in cuz I dont believe in you anymore"

Good day... well not really.

SO my car wont start AND I need to find somewhere to move to ASAP. Of corse I got friends and family and well... my ex (now sure what to call him) wanting me with them. But I gotta find my own and I'm not rushing a thing. I miss "the ex" but in a way of like missing the past I guess. I mean who doesnt kinda miss the feeling of fresh love in the air. but in the same sense I know it will never be the same because I will NEVER be enough anymore so I stopped trying.which always now gives me the feeling of not being enough for the next guy or anything for that matter.I love him but that doesnt mean shit will get better.Maybe thats wat is fucked up because some people NEVER find love... and this is like a wase of it. plus time. Butt butt has been crankey... but eh... as much as I try to make everyone happy sometimes I just cant but crankey people scare me because I'm so happy and I dont want anyone to bring me down. but I actually seem to care about him alot which is scary. Me n Randi got in our first real arguement... it makes me nervous because it hurts to lose people. not saying just one arguement will cause me to lose someone but I just dont like the feeling. Money is somewhat of an issue right now because I need so much at one time. I'm moving and my car got broken at the same time. I guess I might have to join the work force :-/. my mom read my horoscope... well a more indetail one just about my personality based on the date and time of my birth. it was creepy because it was 100% right. is it 2 early to start planning my birthday party if its in october??? I been a real bitch 2day because I feel hopeless.... but 2moro I'm gonna have a good day.


Current Jamz::
"Good Day" -Nappy Roots

Quote of the day::
"just because you love someone doesnt mean you have to be with them. Love is not a bandage to heal wounds"

Them young girls. they do get weary. Maybe if we had beautiful insides we wouldnt have that problem :-/

eh.... dont know how to feel about today. my father is a complete retard and ruined the first half of my day. so after I came home and to my surprise zeno and damon were at my house with the other member 2 the "brothers four"... and he was just as wonderful as the rest :) we are going to make beautiful music together. lol because he will be writing a song for me soon. I'm super excited about that. then they left me :( *sad times*. Then I got another honesty box message telling me how apparently I'm not that pretty and I have a horrible attitude and I'm oh so stuck up. and telling me I need to work on my inner beauty :-/.... I guess I'm suppose to have a Beautiful pancreas??? lol but seriously this is clearly another person who got all their info off of facebook or possibly some he said she said because they dont seem to know me very well :-P...*sigh* the life of a facebook celebrity. Went to visit a friend... we had fun for a short period of time. I needed to get my mind off of some things and he helped. I come home and realized I only talked to butt butt baby once today and it was only for like 2 seconds! WATS ALL THAT ABOUT?!?! ANARCHY!!!!!!!!! Seriously...y am I so concerned???? all these things keep going thru my head wondering why I haven't had much contact all day. I need to shake this feeling and not get attached. I'll get it together.... at the end of the day I just wanna love and be loved... but I'm always to scared to take those steps towards it. I need somebody to "try a little tenderness" lol

Current Jamz::
"Try a little tenderness" - Chris brown


Quote of the day::
" I'm tired of this crap about beauty only being skin deep. What am I suppose to have a beautiful pancreas?!?!"



something i thought was funny :)

Ghetto Superstar.... Well... not exactly but I am a Facebook Celebrity lol

Today was a simple yet fun day. I went swimming in the little baby indoor pool for all of 15 minutes with randi and kris. Ate Cho-Chos (nachos) . I had way more fun than I thought 2day... went to a secret location. We watched TV and Video Games and Ate Snacks :)... Talked to my ex that was... confusing in its self. He gives me mixed emotions. but for the most part its always like a heartbreaking feeling all over again. Just like the first, second, third, fourth, and so on times he has been so careless with my heart. Anycrap... enough of that emotional shit.random:: Being in real studios does nothing but make me wonder what it would be like if it were me. could it be me? I feel like it would be to late and to random for the most part because I'm simply known for just being lucky laura. I spent to much time letting myself be held back by others.

Memory:: Little 4 year old me running around the house puttin on Aretha Franklin and singing along to "chain of fools" lmao...

Random thought:: I would hate to be ugly.... Beauty cant give you everything but it can give you more than someone without good looks...
I'd also hate to be poor...
NEWS FLASH!!!! MONEY is NOT the Root to all Evil... LACK of Money is!!!
Sorry just keepin it real ya'll


Back to my blog. So I AM apparently a Facebook Celebrity from what I'm being told. From my Notes, Video blogs, status', Pics etc... but what will it take for me to be a all around true celebrity??? hard work? dedication?... ok thats fine with me but where do I start because I'm unsatisfied now with being just a "Facebook Celebrity". On another note... I have a lot of great people in my life. I'm so pleased about that. I'm so fortunate to have these people because I could be stuck with sucky boring people in my life. "the simplest things are the best"... I dont like people for what they have or what they can do for me. I just want someone to go 2 meijer with me at 5am to drive the handicapped carts thru the toy section! lmao. I just love these people because they can fill my life with wonderous random moments :)


Current Jamz::

"Ghetto Superstar"- ODB Ft Mya

Quote of the Day::

"I dont care about making money. I just want to be Wonderful!"

Being Grown Up isnt Half as Fun as Growing Up

Finding yourself should be fun! Sure we all are gonna mess up but its apart of growing so why cant it just be counted as just that. Not saying that mistakes should go without consequence but people are so judgmental these days. Me personally I dont wanna be like everyone else and I dont feel like I should be judged for that. I'm defiantly not trying to be grown up right now but I'm welcoming the journey with open arms. Sometimes the journey is the best part. I know I cant do it according to what everyone else thinks is the right way. I gotta take my own path :) I'm trying to surround myself now with people who are understanding and accepting of that. Its hard because for so long all the important people in my life held me back as I allowed them to. My dad laughs in my face constantly laughs in my face at my feelings, hopes, and dreams. He bribes me and pushes me to stay at this effin community college in hopes that I will become more practical. My mother just isnt happy unless I move to Arizona to be with her. My ex who I just happen to love to death just cant seem to accept me for the person I am and have always been. It kinda has hurt feeling like nothing I am or want can please them. The feeling of unworthiness is a bitch. But now I kinda figured I gotta do what I want for me and hope we can all fall into place and be accepting of each other. I'm just gonna enjoy my journey to grown up land.

Current Jamz::
" I'm in love with a girl" -Gavin DeGraw

Quote of the day::

"being grown up isnt half as fun as growing up. these are the best years of our lives. All that really matters if just following our hearts and eventually we'll finally get it right"